make it go away

"Lie still, lie still, my breaking heart; My silent heart, lie still, and break: Life, and the world, and mine own self, are changed for a dream's sake..." -Christina Rossetti (1830-1894)

Have you ever let a passion die? Have you ever been so disheartened, so discouraged and so scarred that you let go of a dream...and you thought it was not worth your time...it was not worth your tears?

People are often afraid to stray too far from the sidewalk (as that Kelly Clarkson song goes) because they have been so hurt to the point of numbness...they've seen it happen right before their very eyes...they've felt it happen right to the very marrow of their bones...like someone just liberally ripped their souls out like it was not worth anything...

So, they give up the passion, they refuse to feel too much for what they used to believe in...they put out the fire...and now there's nothing burning inside of them...

and they settle...settle for something safe...something steady...something that's not at all shaky...
Who could blame them...?

It's an act of self-preservation...to salvage whatever's left of their dignity...to redeem whatever little they have left in their sanity...

They would be numb for a long while...they would forget how it feels to hold a torch for something they strongly care about and believe in...

and then it happens...

someone comes and reminds them... and they instantly remember... like they were waking up from a coma...their memories of old coming back to life and suddenly they can't breathe...

They ask why... they beat themselves up, unforgivingly punishing and tormenting themselves for the big mistake of...settling for less...and letting go of the dream...and not believing it can still happen and that it is just around...lurking...waiting for the perfect time to find them and be found...

and now, it's too late...

In the stillness of life's ocean...there are tiny waves that remind us that there's something bigger than us, waiting to be unravelled, creeping from under the waters...undercurrents...waiting to sweep us off to places we've never been...

But when it finally comes, the question is are you willing and free to be taken by the waves?
Or are you strapped to a life vest?...

safe...breathing...living...yet not alive...

you refuse to think about it and a tiny voice inside you silently screams to no end...

"make it go away.."

and it doesn't.

*kelly has really been my inspiration ever since, good job with this ^_^

are you kidding me?

"are you kidding me?"

question that should be asked directly to those who don't realize your worth,

those that say how nice you look, how good you are and how they adore you,

sometimes you always bear in mind that these people will always be there for you

but are you sure, are you right, then think about it twice..

they treat you lunch, snacks and dinner,

they even surprise you with something you least expect to be given to,

you just can't help your self saying "are you for real?" "is that for me?"

"are you really doing that to make me happy?"

"or you're just forcing yourself not to hurt me even all the while,

you have gotten sicked of me?" cool right?

stupid as it might sound but DUH, it's a fact..

they say they like you and whisper "i miss you"

they give their warmth and loud hug

but can you hear it's meaningful sound?

sometimes they cry to make you feel it's your fault.

you will be sorry, you will kneel down and get all the blame you don't even deserve

then it'll be okay, soon it'll be like it again,

it sounds cyclical as it might be but that's how it is..

how lame it could be if you have shared your precious eon

and suddenly, randomly thin air grabs it out from nowhere..

it sucks coz you don't wanna waste it, you're saving, making the most out of it,

but then it got stolen, they stole it from you, you were forced to give it, darn it!

you would want to utter that simple question..

you would want to practically slap it directly to their face..

you would want to shout it out loud for them to notice..

but what did you do? nothing, you just kept silent, poker face.

so now, are you freakin kidding me?

don't explain yourself coz it's just going to be silly..

gosh darn it, lame excuses and bad acting won't help you,

you grew tired of it, you hate it, that's too much!

so are you kidding me?

what if they say yes? how are you gonna react?!

are you gonna get mad, happy, or jump and leap forward?

are you gonna be freaky, get crazy and act wild like a mad cow?

yes, absolutely yes, they gotta be kidding you,

isn't too obvious, react, please just react..

what a waste of effort, bubbles popping out

cheese melting down, balloons flying away..

and you can't even know what to say.

are you kidding me?

then screw you.,